Bruce Jenner is an @$$%0!e. Oh yes he is.

I don’t watch E! Network because at any moment it might trigger my desire to throw objects at the TV and we own The TV That Ate My Living Room, also known as World’s Most Expensive Dust Collector, and I try to avoid throwing things at objects that pricey.

Celebri-tainment makes me a bit nauseous but yesterday I accidentally turned on that channel. I guess I thought I was on Food Network, and while in the kitchen during the commercial I heard that Khloe wanted to pose nude in a PETA ad about not wearing the fur.

oooohhhh kayyyyyyy This ain’t Paula Deen and that’s for sure.

I know that I might have some readers who love PETA. I personally am not opposed to the wearing of the fur. I eat animals and I wear animals and let’s just agree to disagree, ok?

While carefully tending to my beautifully constructed spinach and feta fritata (I should have taken a picture for you it was that gorgeous) I overheard the voice of Khloe complaining that she is head and shoulders taller than her petite sisters, just has a larger frame, and that even though she is fit and slender people give her grief about her body size (even though she lost 12 pounds), and sometimes strangers on the internet tell her to lose weight. OK I thought, this is not surprising especially since she and her sisters are L.A. media whores. I’m not saying it’s right – fuck no it is not right to publicly or privately call out anyone on their weight, but I did think, well, not surprising. I am not saying the victim is to blame but I am saying that Hollywood is harsh and particularly harsh to young women regarding their weight no matter how thin they may be. These young women are constantly being told to gain and to lose.

And then came the moment that I almost dropped my lovely brunch on the floor. I heard one Bruce Jenner say, “well don’t you think you could stand to drop a few pounds?” WHAT????!!!!!

Bruce oh Bruce! Say it isn’t so! Oh how my family loved you back in 1976 when you were a Decathlon dreamboat! When my father wanted to ban rock and roll from our house I could point to your muscular all American handsomeness on our box of Wheaties as evidence that longish hair on boys was ok. And now this? You shove your own step-daughter’s self esteem in the mud on national fucking television?

You married her mom when she was 7 years old. She is now nearly 25 so this means that for last 18 years you have been a father figure and she is the big sister to the two daughters you have had with her mom. Her father, Robert, died and while I think he too was a douche for supporting O.J., still he was her father and from everything I learned while watching the show for 20 minutes, she certainly loved him.

You fucking called your step-daughter fat on national television. You are a douche.