Emotional Eating

A few days ago there was a discussion about “Emotional Eating” over at Elastic Waist and I would like to continue that conversation here.

Perhaps I am misunderstanding something but it seems to me that this theory about the dangers of emotional eating states that if I eat something believing it will make me feel good that I am living a lie and it won’t really make me feel good thereby causing stress, weight gain, eating disorders and a need for intense therapy.

I just don’t believe that it is necessarily true.

I do not believe that food is evil or my enemy. People do all sorts of things to avoid confronting their emotions. We use food, alcohol, exercise, gardening, meditation and sex to not confront feeling something uncomfortable. My point is that perhaps it is ok to do that sometimes. Confront it when you are ready. Until then, if you want to mow the lawn, have a cocktail, run 3 miles, or have a piece of cheesecake well, why not have all of those things? Can’t I just have a piece of cheesecake without it being a symptom of some deeper psychological dysfunction?

I know that if I eat in order to repress my emotions and then eat beyond fullness, then I might feel physically uncomfortable and I might feel emotionally sad. I might feel guilty if I eat to excess. I understand that if I am eating to the point where I am making myself sick then that is not a physically or mentally healthy choice.

And yet I think that eating because it makes me feel good is under-appreciated in terms of its sensual gratification. I am offended by the idea that right eating is “eat to live” and wrong eating is “live to eat.” I am a foodie. Buying, stocking, preparing and eating food gives me a thrill like no other. I think that anything that releases endorphins is good for me.

Eating delicious food makes me happy. There are numerous scientific studies on the emotional responses to food aromas and flavors. Food nourishes in ways beyond those of nutrition.

So sometimes I eat beyond the point of feeling full. I specifically say “eating beyond feeling full” to avoid saying “eating too much” which is a negative judgment that suggests having done something wrong. I think that eating beyond feeling full is something that everyone does sometimes. To some extent we are all “emotional eaters” and eat in response to our emotions, or conversely we eat in order to illicit specific emotions.

I think that if I can see how good my life is, the way that it is, then I am less likely to be self-destructive. If I label my behavior in terms of right and wrong then there is a danger of getting trapped in a self-destructive loop of self-loathing. What I mean by this is: (1) I feel like a loser so I eat beyond feeling full in an attempt to narcotize myself and stuff my emotions, (2) I hate myself for doing something “wrong,” (3) I eat more because I feel miserable about being such loser.

There was a time in my life when I felt like a loser and I felt that way pretty often. I would (see #1 above) and then I felt (see #2 above) and so I would (see #3 above). The only way out for me was to slow down, enjoy every bite, and like myself more. How I found a way to like myself more is another topic for another day.