Troll Rant…sort of

A Funny Thing About Trolls

Tell me, please, how thin is thin enough? Will your hatred be tempered by an acceptable BMI or do you require that I stand perfectly still while you run an imaginary tape measure around my hips, thighs and upper arms all the while tut-tutting about my jiggly body?

I have gone back into my archives and changed the title of a post from eight months ago. There are people who actually type “I H*te F*t People” into search engines and find my post with that same title. I know that is how they find the post because they tell me that they enter a search with that phrase “just for fun.” Just for fun?! These “fun” people then proceed to comment at that particular post oblivious to the fact that it is an old post and no one will see their comment except for me. I finally decided to just change the name of the post so it no longer shows up in searches for that particular “fun” phrase.

But some Trolls find their way here and have come to stay. I spend more time than I’d like to admit deleting vicious, spiteful, hostile, threatening, virulent, punishing mounds of linguistic filth directed at anyone who dares to say that it might be ok to laugh and eat in public or just freaking enjoy their life, regardless of weight. No! You mustn’t stop trying! If you stop trying to attain the “right” body shape (marry the “right” mate, get the “right” job, own the “right” house, drive the “right” car) then you are a loser and losers are a drain on society.

No matter that you catch more flies with honey than with vinegar and that increasing the amount of shame and stigma a person feels only succeeds in increasing the amount of shame and stigma a person feels. So obviously you don’t hate me for my own good because your methods are ineffective. There must be more to it.

The opposite of love is not hate. The opposite of love is indifference. There is a thin line between love and hate and let’s be honest — you don’t spend your time writing despicable diatribes to people about whom you don’t care, so I have come to the conclusion that clearly you are in love with me. Why else all the letters filled with passion? You are consumed with your desire for my attention. I keep ignoring your pleas for consideration and yet you keep begging me to notice you.

And so I have decided to take pity on you and glance in your direction. I shall give you the attention you so desperately crave. While I am loathe to see any similarities in myself and the person who wrote, “all of you deluded fatties should turn off the tv, leave the trough and get some exercise. You people disgust me.” Truthfully I must admit to you that I have had those very same thoughts in my own mind when looking in a mirror. I have been on the self-loathing recovery plan for a number of years now and I can tell you that I look at my reflection with approval these days (mostly) and delight (more and more) but — there’s the rub. I get where these people are coming from. It is obvious to me that you hate yourself and you feel you must attack those who choose to not hate themselves.

I wouldn’t spend a moment being concerned about whether someone liked me unless that person is someone I respected in some way. I am completely unconcerned about the Trolls leaving comments here but, I am interested in why they do it. I think all people want to connect with other people and to be seen. Anyone who spends time searching the internet to find someone to hate, anyone who takes their time to write a rant about how horrible a person is — must feel that way either about themselves or perhaps their fat mom/dad/science teacher who didn’t give them enough attention/enough encouragement/enough recognition and they want their pain to be acknowledged.

So here it is — Awwwwww, you poor poor baby.

I end this by saying that this is a place where we can discuss ways to be kinder and gentler with ourselves and with each other. That is my intention when I sit down to write. I leave the political observations about sizeism, jumbled scientific findings, and popular culture to those whom I consider to be more eloquent and (truthfully) more interested in those subjects.

I may not have found a way to forgive, forget, or overlook every person who happens to jangle my nerves and push my buttons but I do strive to see the humanity in the hater.

I’m a Thinking Blogger

My blogging buddy Dr. Sharna recently tagged me for the Thinking Blogger meme. I am extremely flattered and I have spent the last few days composing an appropriate response.

Being tagged with the honorable title of Thinking Blogger has inherent responsibilities, which I take quite seriously. If at any time I am unable to perform the duties of a thinking blogger…well, I’ll let you know.

The origins of this award: the thinking blog / fuel by ilker yoldas

Congratulations, you won a Thinking Blogger Award!

Should you choose to participate, please make sure you pass this list of rules to the blogs you are tagging. I thought it would be appropriate to include them with the meme.

The participation rules are simple:
1. If, and only if, you get tagged, write a post with links to 5 blogs that make you think.
2. Link to this post so that people can easily find the exact origin of the meme.
3. Optional: Proudly display the ‘Thinking Blogger Award’ with a link to the post that you wrote.

That was that! Please, remember to tag blogs with real merits, i.e. relative content, and above all – blogs that really get you thinking! It is the first time I am starting something with my blog so I hope it doesn’t come back to haunt me.

Happy link-love-sharing, whatever it is!

The Post Heard Around The World

ilkas goes on to say:

“I agree with Zoli when he said “links are good, but they are supposed to refer to content.” So, I have decided not to join any memes in the future. My aim with this blog is to offer content that is interesting, informative and things that could really help my friends who are reading it. But how can I leave the world of blogging memes without starting one? =) This is the beginning of a new blog meme and, no, it is something more imaginative than the X list.”

So you see that I have an awesome task before me. I don’t even know who Zoli is and I’m not on anyones X list but this…this moves me. If you are one of the faithful who has been checking this site every day looking for a new post I am sure that you can understand why this has taken so long. So many blogs – So little time.

Here is my list of my top five fave blogs that really make me think:

1. Junk Food Science By Sandy Szwarc, BSN, RN, CCP.

Smart. Amazingly smart. Ms. Szwarc does the world a great service by exposing the truth about health myths, which so often are accepted at face value as being true. She tirelessly traces back new reports on science and health to the original source. Very often she finds that the press releases by drug manufacturers and food company lobbyists are being repeated in the press as health facts and the news reports that we are being presented are very often direct quotes from those press releases. This means that we are being given marketing as actual news.

I am always grateful for her posts and thankful that she is doing this important research and making it available for free on the web.

2. Big Fat Deal By mo pie, anne and weetabix.

Clever, witty and always right on target.

3. Big Fat Blog By Paul.

Very well written blog about size acceptance. Always an inspiration.

4. The F-word — Food, Fat, Feminism. By Rachel.

Rachel writes about the f word in media. She has a background as a reporter and is currently doing her graduate work about American food culture. She absolutely floors me with her uncanny eye for bias and bs. She tells it like it is with all the shock and dismay that I feel but it sounds so much better with her reporters voice.

5. PostSecret By Frank Warren.
A public art project spearheaded by Frank Warren in November 2004. He collected handmade postcards from mostly anonymous, average people bearing their most powerful revelations.

I know that this is a famous site and it’s not like Frank needs my help to boost his stats but I must mention it nonetheless. A truly amazing project. Beautiful, sad, inspiring not only for the actual pieces of art that people create and send in but because withholding secrets can make a person depressed or even physically ill and this is a genius way for someone to be heard by millions and still feel safe. Now that the site is partnering with charities that help prevent suicide it’s even more moving.