Brown Fat vs White Fat. A Play in One Act.
A Play in One Act Based on Yesterday’s i can haz fat? post.
White Fat in my Brain:
Hmmmm…let me see…E=MC2! Oh yeah that’s niiiiice. How about, I think therefore I am. That is splendid! I must write that down! Oooh and I’ve got another one! Listen to this – “If you meet the Buddha on the road — kill him.” Damn I’m good! Get outta my way while I cogitate!
Brown Fat in my left Buttock:
me hungry. me want white fat! yum yum white fat!
What’s left of the White Fat in my Brain after a Brown Fat Feeding Frenzy:
Oh my gawd! I am like so totally going to the mall! Don’t you love my new designer jeans? And they are like totally a size zero. I am like so totally kewl! You wish you were me bitch!
Thank you Harvard Medical School researchers. You may now take a bow.
“Abundant in babies, whom it helps keep warm, brown fat is found only in traces in adults. But with a flick of two genetic switches, scientists showed that cells destined to become muscle have the potential to become brown fat.”
So you’re going to take away my muscle to help me lose weight? Sounds like a plan for bodybuilders who’ve developed arthritis in their feet.
BWAHAHAHAHAAAAAA!!!!
I bow to your awesome playwriting skills.
(remains fat and brainy)
Hahahaha, awesome.
Thank you. Do you think we’ll make it to Broadway? Maybe just one performance at the Broadway laundromat in Akron, Ohio.
You are killing me, girl!
Hahaha! Can your brown fat just come eat some of *all* my fat?
Hmmm. Me thinks that furthering this research is a good idea.
What they didn’t address was why brown fat has superior fat-burning ability over muscle. Muscle essentially burns fat, too.
(I left you a dream to analyze on Kristie’s blog.)