BTW I know that I will grab her butt on my deathbed to give her a good feeling and image of me that is positive before I break on through to the other side.

Is it totally wrong that I love a nice ass tap and/or grab in the grocery store. Also love it when he puts his hand on my lower back… *sigh*. I’m a hussy, what can I say?

Isn’t crazy? I complain about all the groping and then complain when he stops.

Rose, my fiance likes to rile me too, and for me there’s deeply upset and then there’s half laughter half shock “I can’t believe you just did that!” upset. When I’m genuinely upset, my fiance is genuinely contrite and makes an effort to stop doing whatever it is that upset me. When I’m half riled up and half amused, we both get a good laugh out of it. I suspect it’s the same for Corinna.

Rose – I really really get how you feel. And yes, if it really really were an issue for me he would stop. Truthfully – I really did hate it when he would overtly grab me in stores, where I thought the neighbors could see, etc. We had several sit-down conversations (more like lectures) and he did finally understand and stop doing that. The rest of the time – well I guess to be honest with you, I like that he grabs me and I like to complain about it. And that’s how I roll.

It’s just totally inappropriate and it doesn’t respect me in the way I’d want to be. I don’t grab him out in public and I expect the same courtesy from him. I think it’d be even worse if I’d told him repeatedly, because that would be very hurtful; he’d obviously been not listening to what I have to say about my own body autonomy. If I tell someone I don’t want my privates grabbed in public, I expect that I will be listened to.

If I were grabbed in the privacy of our own home, I’d probably be okay with it, so long as it wasn’t while I was at the stove or handling knives.

Yes, after nearly fourteen years of marriage, he’s still crazy about me. But no, he doesn’t go grabbing at me. In those 14 years, i’ve weighed 40 pounds less and 40 pounds more than I do now and he loves me all the same, and never says a word about it.

I think in your situation, I might sit down with him at a time when I’m not mad, when we’re not in public, etc. And I would calmly explain how it makes me feel. I also would explain that I don’t appreciate being deliberately riled just because he thinks its cute or something. When I’m angry with a man, he’d better not like it. When I’m angry, I’m not trying to have spunk or moxie or whatever. I’m deeply upset. and he’d better be upset about me being upset.

But this is just me and that’s just how I roll. YMMV.