It is perfectly possible to “feel fat” when you’re sedentary and eating more than you think you should, no matter what you actually weigh. If you don’t like that feeling, change it! Get up, be more active, really look at what you eat! There’s no shame in noticing that your protein intake is a little lower than you like, or dang girl, looks like a snow storm hit your fries and changing it, so why should changing anything else about your diet be hurtful?

It seems to me that what is needed is less judgment, not more.

I’m one of those folks who feels out of place in the HAES movement. I’m a type 2 diabetic with disordered eating issues. I don’t exercise. I know I should. I feel like I’m the person that every fat critic out there is talking about – doesn’t eat right, doesn’t exercise, is to blame for my own weight issues. But I have dieted, I have exercised, I have lost weight – only to put it back on again.

Thanks for the post. It’s good to know that I’m not the only one who thinks like this.

I read fat acceptance blogs in order to regain and rebuild my own self esteem and positivity, but I feel that I am denied participation.

And, thank you for your post. I needed to read it today.

Also, what were your habits like before you gained the weight? Were you dieting at all? If so, that could be what did you in. And how old are you? People tend to naturally get a bit stockier into their 50s.

I’m not sure what to think of the whole “who is a fat acceptor and who isn’t” debate…surely there must be a place for people who are trying to become fully fat-accepting but are still struggling with deeply entrenched habits of mind. Some acceptance bloggers relapse into dieting mentalities or eating disorders on occasion. People aren’t perfect.

I went from size 12 to size 24 in the course of a couple of years, not from binge eating, just eating too much of the wrong foods and not exercising. In the past four years I have gotten more active, taking long walks, going to the gym, lifting weights and getting into skiing. I’ve made friends who like to do active stuff instead of just going to restaurants and bars. So far I am down to a 16. That’s three years of slow, continuous fat loss.

I think if people are happy being fat no matter if they got there from overeating or if it’s just the way they are, I’m happy for them. If people would like to change their body by becoming more muscular or thinner in a healthy way, I wish them well too.

No matter what you do, you will never get the rest of the world to unanimously approve.

To which cause? To fat acceptance? To feminism? To your preferred political party?

First, I think more important than any of those things is making sure you are not a traitor to yourself. Which means not exchanging running yourself down with diet talk and self-hatred for running yourself down with telling yourself you’re not a “good enough” FA activist or whatever.

Secondly, I think as Meowser said, we all have days when the dominant paradigm gets us down and we think, “Good grief, why can’t I just assimilate instead of having to swim against the current all the time?”

Which doesn’t make us anything but human. No one can be a revolutionary 24/7 without burning themselves to a cinder. Some days, we’re just women and men, living our lives and doing the best we can with whatever tools we’ve got.

That wouldn’t have happened if I wasn’t so fat.

That wouldn’t have happened if my boobs weren’t so big.

That wouldn’t have happened if I wasn’t so tall.

That wouldn’t have happened if I was just a little taller.

That wouldn’t have happened if my hair/eyes/face/hands/feet/weight/height was just fucking different.

I’ve worked really hard to love myself and to see that I can have anything that I want — looking exactly as I do.

And then some days I have, as meowser put it “Icky Body Days.”